This is one of those days...when I am writing a blog without inspiration or interest...only because I have nothing better to do. Well actually I do have a lot to do...an project to be written, a report to be completed, TORs to be framed, budget realisations to be reviwed...phew...but I have been besieged by a strange melancholy...And that is why I am writing this.
I scanned and cleaned 26 viruses from my computer today.
I made karela for lunch and most probably that's what I am going to eat for my dinner as well
I did my laundry and washed my hair
Started work on a long due report (I have to submit it today or i am going to get fried/ fired)
Thought about how Obama is turning out to be an idiot
Got angry over Tytler's clean chit (CBI is stinking agency)
picturised a whole scene where i throw huge tantrum in front of my bosses and walk out (in slow motion) of my job...there was a lot of screaming, great witty dialogues from me, throwing of water on certain people's faces and of course the applause
Thought about how my super super boss was now a smirky...I absolutely hated the way he smirked at Annie during one our meetings...felt like he was laughing on all of us downtrodden, essentially dumb, but highly intelligent middle class, working class POs...no wonder these intellectuals never win an election
Now its time to go back to work..deadlines to meet..Gosh

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!

Below is a conversation I had with my Boss some days ago...now my boss is a self acclaimed women's rights, dalit rights, tribal rights activists with a high secular, democratic and non hierarchical principles...So!

Boss- Do you people wear sarees at your weddings? (people here refers to south indian christians)
Me- umm..yes
Boss- So were you and your sister wearing sarees on her wedding..
Me- yes...we were...you see it was an inter religious marriage, done according to Hindu rites so totally no scope for anything other than a saree
Boss- (in a confused bemused sort of a way) Hindu?...We are all Hindus
Me- :0...Errr...I meant the boy is a hindu and we are christians..so it was an inter religious affair...
Boss- Arre..all who live in Hindustan are hindus..baba the only difference is brahmins, baniyas etc..
Me- (No comments here...just open mouthed wonder at that revelation)
Boss- So what caste is he?
Me- Ummm..actually we don't have such a caste system in Kerala...atleast not like we have in North...
Boss- arre...aise kaise ho sakta hai...Brahmins to har jagah hote hain (important fundamental principles of society)..Is he a brahmin?
Me-ummm...I really don't know...never asked him or his family
Boss- What is his surname?
Me- Premkumar
Boss- Premkumar what?
Me- Nitin Premkumar
Boss- Oh..(probabaly disappointed)....so is he a brahmin (itna to my PO should know)
Me- No he is most definitely not a brahmin (thank god for that)
I swiftly switched the topic to Kota sarees and her work with women's development program..... leading to boring monologue of another 30-40 minutes..

I have never understood the psychology behind 'fat' comments. I have been at the receiving end of these comments for god knows how many years now...its like people get a free license to comment on my weight and give me tips (totally unwanted and unsolicited) on how to lose it..Its not that i am touchy about my weight...but having people who are mere acquaintances comment on my extra inches gets to me after a period of time... Its like peole all across the universe have a moral duty towards fat people...Pleeeeeeez tell me how and when and where are we destroying your fabric of life... A fat person has no privacy, no space when it comes to his her weight, people inquire about their life style, food habits, sleeping habits...boring sermons on yoga, non-veg food, exercises...I can understand the need for a healthy life, but since when did 32-24-32 become the meter for health and intelligence. More than women , i have had to face comments from men...think about it, they are the universal exponents of 'Size doesn't matter baby' slogan and for them a women who isn't size 0-4 is obviously a butt of crude jokes.
And everytme an old school/batch mate sees my photo on orkut, the first comment has to be...oh my god you've gotten fat....really I didnt know, i just thought my side of the world had more gravity.
You know what... it doesn't matter coz they are not going to stop and neither am i...so the next time any self righteous prick tells me I am fat or out of shape, I'll ask him/ her to go back to school and redo his geometry...circle, quadrangle, rhombus are all shapes.

Birthday

This is going to be the worst birthday I'll have had in a number of years...I'll be spending it with a bunch of fake sisters, in a boring never ending utterly useless meeting. I hope boi and preeti turn up and stay for the night coz it will be hard travelling from Gurgaon to GZB everyday....

just me talking!

The lull after a storm...thats what my life is right now...do not misunderstand this as a period of leisure and fun...my life has been a constant reporting and travelling session, frustrating lectures and boring never ending meetings.....phew!!
People just don't know when to stop...they can just talk and talk and talk without actually reaching anywhere...am telling you talking is the only form of work which defies the laws of physics...and people around me have perfected it to an art.
Recently my life has been largely governed by monkeys..no not the two legged kinds, the authentic tree climbing , lice picking, havoc creating kinds. I seem to find them everywhere I go...on my balcony, my terrace... two on my office car. What does the municipal corporation do all day? There should be law against such menace...then again there should be a law against certain two legged varieties also!
Talking of monkeys..I have always wanted to know how Hanuman dies in ramayana..does he die..never heard of any such story..what really happened? Hmmmm...seems like I have got my post retirement job already cut out!
Talking of retirements...I have a feeling that at the rate my office is making me work there wouldn't be much left of me to retire...i'll just burn out in a couple of years like a Laxman Silvania light bulb...remember the ad..poore ghar ke badal daloonga!..or was it Laxman Silvania..Hmmm
Well I did think that Mimoh looked like a neandrathal monkey in that movie of his(dont remember the title)

Beep

Have you watched HBO or Star Movies recently...next time look closely at the subtitles in every movie..not only are they beeping out every swear word, they do not show words like shit, crap, sex and gay/lesbian. Talk about moral policing...like kids are not going to pick these words up otherwise and even if they do, will that really turn them into gun totting drug addicts....And since when is Lesbians or Gays an obscene word...or sex for that matter. Colonial hangover!

Welcome to Stephens

I was watching Roadies auditions a few days back on TV and I saw this girl talking about St.Stephens college and how fascinating it was to be admitted there and how cool it was etc etc...no need to mention that Raghu and Rajiv clobbered her (verbally)...but that's not the point I wanted to make. Well actually i don't want to make a point. Just want to reminiscence about my old college....yes i was a part of St. Stephens... '99-'01 batch.I still remember my first view of the college, it was the form submission procedure. Now Stephens doesn't really take the common admission forms circulated by DU..they had their own forms, Rs.50 back then. I went to a lot of other colleges too that day, but Stephens was the only college where everything was organised...there was no unruly and jostling crowd stepping on your feet, inspite of the fact that almost 90% of students applying for regular courses do apply there. I was all excited and secretly proud of falling into that magic slot the 'cut out percentage'.

But am not here to recall all the events that happened in college and my reactions to them. Its just that everyone, well almost everyone I have met feel that i have been very privileged to be a part of St. Stephens..some have even taken a double take and changed all their opinions...there's this awe and respect that creeps in. I wont deny that I haven't used it to my advantage every single time I could. But my time in college was so vastly different from what people think...

The truth is...I used to hate my college...I still do...Stephens is a cauldron of snobbish teachers and students or to be exact and respectful to the Stephanian lingo, the Senior Scholar and Junior scholar. Yep we had a lingo, a very sacred one...everyone knows the canteen is cafe and hostel is called res...you see Hostel are for horses, Stephanians reside in the 'Res'. But the college handbook actually has a term for the janitors..the Gyps .

I had taken up History Honours considered to be toughest course and the one of the most prestigious courses in the college...the people before me who have done this course have usually turned out to be dramatists, politicians, media personalities, IAS officer etc etc..So. We had one of the best faculties, lecturers who had a language of their own, something which always went over my head. The tutorials were nightmares with the discussions between the intellectual students and the lecturers like APD going on in a parallel universe for me.

The worst part was however a total lack of warmth in the college...Stephens has a great tradition, culture to keep up and an attitude which keeps everyone out. Its cold and utterly unrealistic. Its anything but fun...and it doesn't suffer weaklings or aberrations easily...God the number of times I have been snubbed. It made me feel inadequate and a nincompoop...And trust me girls there isn't anything remotely romantic about the Stephanian guys..they are all a bunch of snobbish, cocky, highly chauvinistic boys. Most of them turn out to be like Rajiv and Raghu....or Rahul Gandhi. Choice is yours!

There isn't a single good memory of the college which I would want to carry along. This isn't to say that Stephens is a bad choice..no it isn't ..it maintains its very high standards...gives its students a strong backing throughout their lives with its sterling name. Maybe I was all wrong for the college...maybe I wasn't.

I wouldn't want to waste my time contemplating on the various ways it could have been better. So if anyone asks me if I am an Ex Stephanian......I'll just raise my eyebrows in utter disdain and say......."I am not an ex Stephanian, I am an Old Stephanian....once a Stephanian always a Stephanian"

Ad Dei Gloriam