People who annoy me to no end...i have been wanting to write this blog for a long time, but as you all know bitching is an art that has to be inspired and motivated. Anyways without digressing from the point i would like to put a disclaimer
* This list is not in alphabetical order nor does it reflect the severity of annoyance. It is a list of the most annoying people and their annoying habits, things that have made me want to-puke, pull my hair, migrate, scream, beat myself and scratch my nails on a blackboard.
1. The romantic couples- lovey dovey kinds. People in love are the most selfish, insensitive and boring specimens of humanity i have had the misfortune of meeting. Selfish because for they make plans with you and then dump you at the same moment just coz their BF/GF comes visiting. Insensitive coz they don't care a whit about your problems, advices or opinions. They expect you to listen to the tales of their idiotic, cheating, overbearing, clinging BFs/GF and expect you to sympathize and even offer advice. And being the nice and caring person that you are, you do try and sympathize and find a solution to their problems. But they are such fickle characters that they throw away your advices the moment the erring BF/GF makes puppy eyes at them. You can give them that, but what do you do when the same person comes back again and again with the same problem. Oh and it gets even worse when the in-love person goes all dreamy eyed and share their GF/BF best traits and also worries about your love life. I don't think there is any need to describe why they are boring.
So to all these lovely couples "Stay the F***K out of my life, i don't want to listen to your whining and i don't want you to compare your love life to mine. Do you see me sharing? No..so why don't you take a clue.
2. The Phoneys- does not refer to the genuinely fake . I like that category of people. This term refers to the people who don't need the services of a mobile phone to convey their message. The voice decibels are so loud that it travels through airwaves directly to the intended person. I have encountered this specimen in corridors, movie halls, lifts and the metro. For them the phone is just an instrument to keep near their ear the actual transmission is done directly without the use of the mouth piece. I am sure they are India's answer to network problems, who needs the stupid network, we can shout it out. After all we come from the land of dharam paaji and sunny paaji
3. Too Good to be true-Holy of the holies- Ughhhh. This specimen gives me the shivers. They are so perfect from their talk to their walk. They epitomize Indian culture (regressive, patriarchal & racist). The B family of Bollywood is an excellent example. They make me very uncomfortable especially when people idolize them. What are you idolizing- a patriarch who had much publicized affairs with half of B Town in his heydays, a matriarch who believes that the best quality about her Bahu is that she prefers to remain a step behind her husband, A Bahu who is just too plastic to be real and well the less said about the Beta the better. The beti of the family doesn't come into the family equation coz she is married now and and her place has been filled by the perfect Bahu. This is what we want for our future?
4. Religious aunties and uncles- doesn't refer to any age group. They make it their pass time to spread the message of God through mails, pamphlets, letters and well meaning advices. What irritates me is that they think I am absurd for watching Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings and Iron Man. All i want to say to them is that i only WATCH and ENJOY fantasy, i do not BELIEVE in someone who could walk on water, was born out of immaculate conception through holy spirit, mangoes, apples, who could multiply food without the help of fertilizers and seed, who could raise the dead and raise from the dead..I don't believe that when i die i will go to a place with clouds that can double up as comforters and people with wings who play on a lute and keep bowing and scraping to an old man with a beard. And when they say that I am going to hell, I tell them that i would take my version of hell for their version of heaven any day
More to come....
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