it just felt wrong....

There's a small place next to our office functioning as a 'hobby center' where they teach tiny tots guitar, drawing, singing, dancing etc etc etc. Every evening around 4 you have these little ones with their mothers going up to the center and coming back around 5.30 chattering away to glory and trying to bring the whole building down.

But that's not the issue...yesterday while coming out of the office we saw a 6 yr old boy and his mother returning from this 'hobby center'. They got into the lift with us and the boy had a drawing book in his hand. While waiting for the lift to reach the ground floor he started showing his mother his work of art...green parrots, blue sky, the yellow sun. The mother looks at some of the drawings and points to one and says" this one is not of your standard, this one is OK..but this is definitely not your standard"

I was deeply disturbed. A few things that felt wrong

• Should a boy barely 6 know/ think about issues like perfection and standards?
• Is it really important for a 'hobby' to have a standard?
• Is this what chasing after excellence all about? What about having fun and enjoying your hobby?
• 'Standards'...quickly translates into standards for interaction with other human beings with issues of class coming in.

Maybe I am overreacting, maybe I don't know what it is to bring up a child in this competitive world, but I can't help feeling that something was just so wrong there.

Let me tell you about my mom...

Not a glowing eulogy of course, which has been done to death and ever after by Bollywood (sorry the Hindi Film Industry as a certain shirtless khan wants everyone to say). So its not going to be ‘Mere pass maa hai’…more like ‘sabke ke pass hai, mere pass bhi hai’.

So what’s special about me mommy…nothing…except that she is a sneaky woman who thinks I don’t know when she mixes gheeya with my dal or adds baingan in my sambhar. Imagine the horror of picking out pieces of mashed gheeya and baingan from my food. All because she thinks I have the brain of a two year old who can be fed cerelac with mashed tomatoes (yuck I tell you). She’s sneaky coz I never get to know I’m eating ‘milavati’ dal or sambhar until its half over. Unlike my father who ‘thinks’ he is james bonds and takes pride in announcing that sneaking banned vegetables into an otherwise innocent dish is the way to make children eat (yes he also thinks we have the mental capacity of a two year old. Poor thing, he also assumes we are deaf). So, you see, his plans fail before even taking off. But mom, she is too clever by the half. We never get to know when the bomb drops.

Reason number two- she almost always knows about our crushes. She never lets on, we never share anything with her, but that woman knows. The Libran is a mind reader I tell you. She sneaks into our minds and finds out our deep dark secrets. Scary. She knew about BIL and well other things we never ever talk about.

Reason number 3- she has a brilliant brain. She never lets anyone know though. She doesn’t want dad to get a complex. I am telling you the woman is sharp, irritatingly observant, has the memory power of an elephant. She is also patient and has got fourteen right hands (thank you god, since dad doesn’t know the difference between a hammer and a screwdriver). You wouldn’t believe the things that she has ‘invented’, everyday things but brilliant.

Reason number 4- She is so stubborn. To be Linda goodmanish..she is like a true Libran and can only see her point of view, which annoyingly is more often than not right. I as usual clash with her and my harassed younger sibling in true sunny paaji style ends up screaming “Ma ke saamne awaaz neechi kar daaga”(requested to add the nasal screaming tone)

Reason number 5- I absolutely envy the fact that she is so meticulous about her dressing and style. She has great skin and you would never catch her with a creased salwar or the sari pleat out of place. I on the other hand dress up in whatever comes first out of my messed up wardrobe and have the skin tone of rhino. Well I have also been spotted wearing two different pairs of shoes and ulta pajamas…it’s true I walked into intell land once wearing a bathroom slipper and a sneaker, I didn’t realize it until I stretched my feet. She must have picked up the wrong baby!!

Reason number 6- She puts up with- the pshyco whining, sweater staring, sharp tongued, totally lost and messy, unapologetically selfish and all round pain in the posterior ‘me’.

PS: I am going to write about my Dad one of these days..it will be titled “Who died and made you the monitor of my class”

MM's in Bitchy mood...

So she is going to bitch and complain and crib and sigh...If anyone has a problem ..suck it up

Its probably the cold, or the 2 and 1/2 hr metro ride, or the crazy job hours (including the travel) 6.45 am to 8 pm., or the constant pain I've been having in my back. I don't know. I am just tired and angry and just all around pissed.

- I am sick of the newspaper reports with scam a day. What F**k was this government doing all this while? Is there any place, any agency that is not corrupt in this country?And who are we to complain btw, we cheat on our taxes, bribe the cops and every other government official, drink and drive, honk and drive, we spit and smoke and urinate in public places, we keep adding rooms and verandas to our DDA constructed two bedroom houses making into a 5 bedroom monstrosity, we turn a blind eye to everything and then we complain. Right now i don't know who i'am more pissed at , the sarkaar or me

- They have the nerve to say that to say that they are closing murder case because the evidence was destroyed. I pay my taxes religiously so that they can say this!. and what about the people who were supposed to took the evidence. Weren't they trained enough? Did they just let anyone from the road gather evidence? And why are the people responsible for destroying/ damaging the evidence NOT being prosecuted?

- Why do people have to push and shove while getting into the metro? why can't they just get up on time and get their work done on time. Why does everything have to be last minute rush?

- Why are they not getting the second season of castle back on star world?

-Why is Shahid Kapoor so desperately imitating SRK? Couldn't he have atleast taken the pains to imitate someone who was not a mix of three yesteryear superstars?

- Why am I left with no time to read and relax and dream and sleep and think?

the Whys have left me too exhausted to go on?

MM's New year resolutions are

• Stop bitching about turning 31...i did that when i turned 30, its not like anyone listened and stopped the ageing process. So suck it up and listen to the sisterhood
• Lose weight- seriously...start dieting and exercising...or do atleast one of these...or atleast think about one of these...The "Secret' says that if you start thinking about something and then talking about it the universe will make it happen. So you are gong to hear a lot of talk about diets and exercises from me.
• Stop being a lazy hag....hehehehehhehehehehehehhehe...yeah like thats going to happen!!!
• Visit one exotic destination...Egypt??? With my luck i'll end up in Muzzafarpur
• Be a great Aunt....I can do this...I'm good with children, but am i good with dirty nappies. Babies are also poop machines...I see a lot of poop and bum washing in my near future.
• Stop watching Masterchef Australia...the ones i like never win...its such a heartbreaking experience

Thumbs up and thumbs down in Nitishland

Instead of writing a travelogue i've decided to pen down the the good things and bad things saw in Bihar. Simple.

Thumbs up

Nalanda- is one of the most beautiful sights i've ever seen. I know a lot of people might differ on that. The place is huge and the university with its classrooms and assembly halls and temples and two story dormitories, wells and ovens and drainage and sky light..all built somewhere around 6th century BC. For a sucker of old buildings this was Valhalla. One thought.. Looking at the well preserved walls and rooms and pillars standing for over 3000 years and built without any modern contraption or technical knowhow, I wonder why the CWG foot bridge couldn't stand for more than a week

Bodh Gaya- an island in itself. Just 20 kms or so from Gaya town and you feel like you've left Bihar. The temple is just breathtaking and the bodhi tree still stands. I am not into a lot of energy vortexes but there was a sense of peace in that place. Its well maintained and considerably neat

Ginger Pancakes- yep, i had those in Bodh Gaya at a dhaba called Om and highly recommended by Lonely Planet. Its damn cheap and the pancakes are just amazing.

Litti Choka- I hope i've spelled it right. Its something like the Rajasthani baati with sattu stuffing and choka is a chutney made of roasted brinjals, potataoes, green chillies, roasted tomatoes, roasted garlic mashed together with raw mustard oil. It tastes heavenly and for all those mallus who hate mustard oil...aundy and ungle you eat, drink, sleep coconut oil which is the king of all flavored aromatic oils, so widen your horizons

Green Bihar- Everywhere you look its trees and banana plantains, date trees, mango groves. Fertile soil, plenty of water..why are the people so poor when the state is so resource rich

Ganga ji- You can't ignore her. I think she is at her grandest in Patna.

Honest and helpful people

Thumbs down

Kshatigrast bridges- This isn't an exaggeration. Since Bihar has a lot of rivers small and big and we traveled almost the entire stretch we had to cross a lot of bridges. I think 9 out 10 where damaged either in parts or just plain rickety. A fact that is displayed proudly on yellow boards by the government before every bridge in Bihar. You can however see a merry traffic of trucks and buses going to and forth on these bridges. This is not an exaggeration; one was so kshatigrast that the bridge was shaking on its hinges every time a vehicle passed through. I must say the people of Bihar are very resilient and brave.

Everyone here also has a hearing problem coz the decibel levels are high enough to be heard from the moon, be it the honking trucks or mobile phone users

'Jerking' Roads (lovingly called by the locals)- ridden with potholes. after an 11 hour journey from Madhubani to Purnea i was sure Bihar was a part of an RAW plan to find an underground way to China or US of A.

Paneer and Aloo-Gobhi- I don't know if you've noticed but in regional cuisine in North India has been taken over by Punjabi food, prominently by paneer and aloo-gobhi. Everywhere I went they gave me aloo-gobi, I didn't know Gobi was the state vegetable of Bihar. Coming a close second was Paneer, anywhere you go you get Paneer and it is considered a substitute for green vegetables, pulses, sweets and even heaven for vegetarians. Well all I can say is that I pressed my fast forward remote whenever the menu is read out and reach the naan-bhej section.

Lastly a thought that went through my head all the while i heard auto drivers, taxi drivers, tea shop owners, dhaba owners, NGO people, journalists praise Nitish..."Whoever thought that the humble non motorized two wheeler could elect a Chief Minister. I wonder if the lack of cycles where the only reason for poor female literacy…I have a lot to learn about the mechanics of the education system"

Do visit Bihar, its beautiful and steeped in history

thoughtless!!

Now if only words were as simple. I have no idea what to write and every time I think about writing without a thought I get stuck…in my thoughts. What a waste of time and energy? Reading sappy novels does not do any good to an already sour disposition. It just makes things more blurred. Makes you lose perspective while you float on pink cotton candy.

Speaking of cotton candy I have heard they make your teeth bad, infected. I wouldn’t fancy that, not one bit. However I can’t quite deny the charm of reading a sappy mushy novel at leisure. It has improved my mood many a times.

This blog doesn’t mean anything, its just words, an attempt to write without a conscious attempt at thought. I feel so sleepy. Lie to me is such a boring serial, it’s a pain to sit through the one hour episode. Coupled with its 10 pm telecast time it’s a miracle I am able to sit through it. Not that anyone has forced me to. Well got to do something till they get back the gore and wit back on primetime.

Almost had a meeting with the maker in the morning due to an overfilled and near to bursting urinary bladder. Word of advice to all nice people out there, never drink a glass of water before sitting through a two hour official meeting on a winter morning in an AC room. As to why I didn’t excuse myself for a bio break, I have no idea. Guess I never thought it would go on and on an on. Well that’s a lesson learnt.

Blog Diarrhea

Blog diarrhea...how else can i explain this regular updating of my blog. How do i get out of this? Please help...help...help.

Want to blog about the Ladies Coach in Delhi Metro..but am too annoyed at the men who insist upon getting into this coach and hence not coherent enough for a full fledged blog. But let it be known that i am putting in my protest...anyone care to blog about this?